It's past 11 pm, I can't sleep and I don't know why.
Though lately I had sleepless nights, I know this one was different. I don't have anything to cry about or to worry about so maybe this is the night I can finally say, I have moved on.
There's this adrenaline that makes me want to write things when i am sad, sometimes I feel like it is my way of expressing and letting the feels out and I swear, it was all good. When I read them when I already feel better, I will be grateful that after all those aches, I can smile again. I am glad those days are over. I am glad that it feels like it's all on me now, like I don't care what other people will say as long as I am happy. But I don't regret that it happened because if it didn't, I won't be this happy.
Your happiness is based on how much pain you felt.
x
Other nights I want to die, but the truth is I am afraid to.
I just want to stop the pain. I just need an escape. But death is not just an escape because when you die, there's no coming back.Maybe, I am just being a teenager and miserable.
Because the truth is, I am afraid to die, I'm afraid that people will eventually remember me not for what I've done but for what I've become. But the thought of it always lingers on my mind.
Can dead people feel?
Can dead people see the way people mourn for them?
The sad part is, people only recognize those who are physically dead but never the emotionally dead. They like to talk nice things and reminisce the good things dead people did but never want to talk with the emotionally dead people because for them they are just arrogant kids who feel isolated. But it's more than that, I guess.
I am alive, not just existing because there is a big difference between the two. I am living not just because I am afraid to die but because life is beautiful. The last time I said that was 10 years ago but I am constantly reminding myself that it was true.
Because life doesn't have to be always on the top, it's a cycle-it's round.
Life isn't a roller coaster that only goes up, it has ups and downs and it depends on you if you're gonna enjoy your ride or not. I still believe that this grand feeling won't last but at least, I have something to remind on how I used to love life.
There's this adrenaline that makes me want to write things when i am sad, sometimes I feel like it is my way of expressing and letting the feels out and I swear, it was all good. When I read them when I already feel better, I will be grateful that after all those aches, I can smile again. I am glad those days are over. I am glad that it feels like it's all on me now, like I don't care what other people will say as long as I am happy. But I don't regret that it happened because if it didn't, I won't be this happy.
Your happiness is based on how much pain you felt.
x
Other nights I want to die, but the truth is I am afraid to.
I just want to stop the pain. I just need an escape. But death is not just an escape because when you die, there's no coming back.Maybe, I am just being a teenager and miserable.
Because the truth is, I am afraid to die, I'm afraid that people will eventually remember me not for what I've done but for what I've become. But the thought of it always lingers on my mind.
Can dead people feel?
Can dead people see the way people mourn for them?
The sad part is, people only recognize those who are physically dead but never the emotionally dead. They like to talk nice things and reminisce the good things dead people did but never want to talk with the emotionally dead people because for them they are just arrogant kids who feel isolated. But it's more than that, I guess.
I am alive, not just existing because there is a big difference between the two. I am living not just because I am afraid to die but because life is beautiful. The last time I said that was 10 years ago but I am constantly reminding myself that it was true.
Because life doesn't have to be always on the top, it's a cycle-it's round.
Life isn't a roller coaster that only goes up, it has ups and downs and it depends on you if you're gonna enjoy your ride or not. I still believe that this grand feeling won't last but at least, I have something to remind on how I used to love life.
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