I SUCK AT BEING ME

I don't know if this is too personal to post or not but I am posting it anyway because my heart said so.

{ don't mind my brows }

I suck at being me. Pretty much I suck at everything. 

I am in the process of searching for myself. I don't know where to go. I don't know who I really am. There are always questions in my mind that I cannot answer, it's either I don't really know the answers or I know the answers but I am afraid of accepting them. I am in a state of confusion where I doubt the things I should do and the things I should let go. I am stuck between the voices in my head and the voices in my heart. It's hard to make such a decision when you both wanted it. It's always been hard to make a decision when you don't know yourself at least.

This world is deceiving. Guess I'm too gullible for that. I can't hold on the things I should, I can't prove myself. I am trying to find the way back because I am lost. Or maybe... Just maybe, I know things. I am just too weak to accept it. I am just too afraid to risk it all. I am just too worried to leave all the things behind and start to follow.

When you hear voices in your head talking about the things you should do, you'll end up thinking and worrying about so many things, things that sometimes doesn't concern you anymore. And as you try not listen as much as you can, it becomes louder and more convincing. And there, your heart will also tell you things, things that make you believe all is well. As you try not to listen as much as you can, it becomes more tempting.

We are all facing different battles everyday, battles that will either make us stronger or will make us lose the game. In my case, I am being optimistic that I'll make it through. Maybe I just need someone to talk to. Maybe I just need someone who will listen to me. Someone who will understand and will never judge me.

And oh, believe me, I am fine; not happy nor sad, just fine. It just that there are things that are currently messing with my head leading me to confusions and I am struggling on a battle but I am alright. I guess.




♥ yelalalove ♥